#5: Oh Those Bavarian Women.

Every German woman who shows up at the Oktoberfest with a Bavarian costume makes you feel like you’ve been transported back in time, except that time never really existed, because there was never really a period where people wore clothes like this that also showed off their chests so incredibly well. You will lose your mind.

#4: An Endless Flow of Beer.

Every other bar in the entire known world will kick you out at least 5 hours before the same thing will happen at Oktoberfest. In fact, they seem to encourage insane, messy behavior (with limits) before throwing anyone out, ever.

#3: You Will Love the Oompah Band By the End.

There’s something about the uniform awfulness of the Oktoberfest Oompah bands that is completely endearing. It might have to do with the massive amounts of beer you’ve consumed, which make any crummy song sound great, but still, there it is.

#2: Nowhere is Security So Insanely Tight.

When you have a tent with 8,000 people getting unbelievably drunk, there’s definitely going to be some tempers flaring. Glasses will go flying, people will get into fights, things will get messy — right? But it turns out the security at Oktoberfest is so ridiculously fast and well-controlled, that it’s almost impossible to actually see a fight, because it’s likely been broken up before even starting, and the instigators immediately thrown out.

#1: It’s Entirely Devoted to Beer.

Sure, there are wine festivals, fancy beer festivals, vodka festivals — all that stuff. But nowhere in the world is there a massive, massive party entirely devoted to consuming beer in big quantities, with other people, in tents. It is the apotheosis of everything great about beer in the first place, the camaraderie, the silly excitement, the fatty foods — enshrined in the best festival ever created.

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